I want to talk to a live person there, can I call you?
Yes, but be prepared to talk alot. We’re Chatty-Kathy's, well for now we are-we’re all talk! With the fact that we are small comes a downer, might take alot of holding music for us to pick up your call. We would like to say sorry, but we would rather tell you to suck it up, as life does suck and, at this current time, we are not big enough to send all our calls to India. But rest assured, when we can, we will... kidding. We don’t do that... If by any chance we don’t pick up, we are busy with our suck-y lives trying to get more inspiration for new products and shipping orders.
Will I receive customer support like I'm used to?
Yes. Well, hopefully. If you like being sent overseas to speak to a representative, you will be disappointed. If you buy something you don't end up liking or you have what marketing people call "buyer's remorse," give a call and we’ll see what we can do. We take our customers very seriously, but as we are a small business, we have limited resources at our disposal. Give us a ring and we’ll work with you one-on-one to solve any problem. Although we do believe you should suck it up, we admit that we are here to help. And if we make you laugh in the process, so be it!
How do I return a defective product?
That’s a joke, right? Our “product,” defective? Not gonna happen. We take pride in the high quality of our products, and we will stand by it at all times. For this reason, we have a selective return process that might require you to sell your first-born child.
*You may only return a product for an exchange, no new products, no different products, or anything like that. We exchange for the impossible “defective product” (YEAH RIGHT), and the occasional exchange for size. We get it that you want to give a funny gift to someone and might not always know their size. Remember, we’re just like you. We’ll take it and exchange it right away for you, minus shipping.
Legal Mumbo Jumbo, for Big Brother
All Sales are Final, except for exchanges. This mean NO RETURNS. Currently, as our shipping is done by a warehouse, restocking fees are charged for returns. For the reason of our inexpensive shirts, we have decided it would be the easiest just not to except returns. Exchanges are on a case by case basis. Exchanges will be done at the discretion of Life Sucks Inc.
The exchanges will fallow the rules below:
- Request no later then 5 businesses days after order.
- Shirt must be in pristine condition. No rips or tears or stains. Failure to comply will void the exchange and no shirt will be sent in exchange.
- Exchanges can only be made for sizes; We do not accept exchanges resulting in a different design.
What payment options do I have?
You can pay for your orders using VISA, MasterCard, and American Express. We do not accept checks, money orders, IOUs, CODs, alphabet soup or broken promises.
What are my shipping options?
Currently, your shipping options are limited. An item can ship if you order it, or not ship if you don't. We will ship UPS and try to stick with the same service for most items. Right now, we are asking the world “What can Brown Do for You?” but depending on a particular item, we could change to save costs.
All orders should be shipped within two business days of order, but it could take up to a week if we need to print-to-order. If there is a problem with your order and it will not ship in time, you will be contacted by e-mail with the status. Order status can also be checked online or by phone. All shipping prices are estimated at Checkout, and will be billed later. Tracking numbers will be sent when the package is shipped. We currently do not ship to PO or APO boxes.
How can I track my order?
Regardless of shipping method, you should get a tracking email once your order ships. You can check your order status by logging in and clicking the “My Account” tab at the top of the page. Your account page will list all your previous orders. Click on the order number to view tracking information for that order. Do not email us the next day asking when your item will ship. Take a breath. Have a cup of coffee. Patience in all things, grasshopper.
Why isn't my state/country/province listed; do you ship internationally?
No, we do not ship outside of the continental United States at this time. Seriously, that would only make sense if we were like Life is Good, who makes their shirts overseas, ships them here, then ships them back. We could do that, but wasting is not what we do. Yeah, life sucks but we have to try to save the world one shirt at a time.
I'm a wholesaler/retailer/Bill Gates; can I buy from you in bulk?
Yes, are you kidding? We encourage you to buy wholesale from us. We have very competitive pricing for wholesalers and extra built-in perks for our loyal ones! Send us a message or give us a ring and we’ll work something out.
Where are you guys located?
As a true parody company we feel its necessary to be on the back door of our competitors, so we have set up shop out of Boston. What do you say to that?
Yes, we do, and no, it's not a secret. Read it in full. You just have to find it first.